Kind of like the Grinch.

And what happened then-well, in Whoville they say

That the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day...And the Grinch found the strength of ten Grinches--plus two. 
And now that his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
With a smile in his soul, he descended Mount Crumpet,
Cheerily blowing Who! Who! on his trumpet.
-Doctor Suess

A few days before leaving on our trip, I went for a walk with a dear friend in the pouring rain. I shared with her that since we purchased our plane tickets, just a couple weeks prior, I felt like my capacity to love was being expanded. That my heart seemed as if it was aching with growing pains. I would find myself tearing up, praying more, and preparing for what was to come of this excursion to an unknown land. She smiled and said, you're like the grinch with your heart literally growing! (Minus the grumpy, mean old green creature part).
Now, just a couple weeks later, it is safe to say my heart has indeed grown, probably even more than three sizes. 

Ukraine is a beautiful and despairing place. Where society's corruption, war and perversion collide with amazing pockets of people on fire for seeing the broken and downtrodden restored, where murals speckle the tattered facades of old Soviet-era buildings and good food abounds. Zhytomyr (the city we stayed in) is a place that oddly felt very much like home. There we were able to meet the loveliest sort of people. We worshiped with them, bridge jumped with them, served bananas and laughed with the boys at Romaniv together. It was a delight to step into to such a gracious and involved community across the world. 

    
Then there were those days at the Romaniv orphanage. A place that is so awful but inside those sweet boys capture your soul. Our original goal was to go there to build a play structure. But sadly the shipment of equipment was stuck at the boarder. Instead we got to spend our days with these amazing individuals. The majority of our time was in the isolation hall, where 24 of the less mobil boys suffering from more severe disabilities reside. Oh the power of nurturing and and simply being with someone. What struck me was the beauty in the mutual sharing of care from each of us and each of those boys. They have so much personality and so much to offer. The laughs, smiles, and snuggles-they are the best. The best medicine is taking time to be simply be present with each other and love with abandon. 

The place itself, is wrought with inequality. And like the entire compound, the dirty white walls that line the rooms where these boys live are longing to see revival. The ultimate goal is to find these boys permanent homes where they can thrive and be loved by a family. In the mean time, I invision bright and colorful spreads of art across those weary walls. Art has the ability to transcend language, differences, and pain. I believed it before and now it is more clear than ever. When music was played in the isolation hall, the very ambiance of the space shifted into joy. The boys loved the colorful jackets and scarves-imagine if they had beautiful paintings strewn across the hall, inviting them to a place of whimsical imagination. 

Now we are home and I find myself quite sad,burdened at times, and unable to stop a smiling at others. This trip has changed sometime deep within both Sean and I. We have gained a new lens to view life. What truly matters is relationship, is taking the time to sit and be with others, to invest your time in loving others instead of chasing things. Jean Vanier put it best, "We are not called by God to do extraordinary things, but to do ordinary things with extraordinary love." I can't wait to return to Ukraine, hopefully equipped with a paintbrush (several) and pages of mural ideas...

Unicorns of Ukraine

Ukraine-the bread basket of Europe. It is a beautiful place filled with cracked streets, crumbling grey buildings, and incredible people. Generosity and hospitality abound despite what may seem like a chilly exterior. Not to mention the food, oh the food! It is like getting a hug from the inside at every meal. We are very fortunate to have a wonderful friend of Jed and Kim's cooking us meals. We are staying at The House of Bread, a Messianic church that is a great landing spot. Our morning routine consists of waking and then walking to McDonald's for coffee before breakfast at the church. I couldn't believe I left my French Press and Street Bean Coffee on my counter at home, but the morning walk does the soul good. And hot coffee against the frigid sunny air is treat. We then eat a hearty delicious spread of cheeses, breads, eggs, oatmeal, fresh jam, and cakes. After that we run a few errands before embarking on the hour drive to the Romaniv orphanage that is home to around 85 boys with disabilities.

Describing this place is like attempting to tell someone what a unicorn is when they've never seen a horse. It is so far outside the paradigm of normal life in America.  It is a place of great injustice that simultaneously brings evidence of God through each of those sweet souls. 

Music is truly an invitation of joy and peace. Both Jed and Brett play the guitar and it beckons the boys to song and rhythm. There is also a Ukrainian volunteer who plays worship songs on the accordion. At one point him and I were singing In Christ Alone- him in Ukrainian, me in English, the flow of the accordion filling the small kitchen room accompanied by the hums and offbeat claps of 8 precious boys. 

This place provokes you to mull over the realities of the world we live in. How beauty and disability are perceived, how amid neglect and darkness, light can shine through.  I wish I could share more but my soul continues to process and I hold the stories of these children with care. I'll let the pictures do a better job of describing these past few days.

I can tell you that my heart has never been more broken and has never been so full as it as been these past few days at Romaniv. 

Brunch in Frankfurt?

One of my favorite things about the new year is a new paper calendar. I buy one at the book store then take myself on a date, just me and my calendar. I then carefully go through each week of the year and mark down birthdays, events and the multitude of plans I've already crafted. It brings me enormous satisfaction. It's not surprising, I was that child who always looked ahead in the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books so I could plan which route in the story to take. 

In the past year I've embarked on a personal quest to ease the pressure of pre-filling out the calendar. I want to shed the layer of being that person who is "always busy" in hopes of living more fully in the moment and allowing life to create its's own adventures. And life has not disappointed. It has allowed me to venture on a moments notice and also find greater rest. When you hold your schedule loosely, it leaves room for a greater depth of opportunity. Suddenly you're not confined to your own imagination. You become open to the collective creativity of those around you - and even more wonderfully frightening, where the Lord might call you to.

So another adventure is about to unfold, one that is laced with both spontaneity and great purpose. This one quite different than the last one I mused about. Our European expedition last fall had been over a year in the making and was three weeks of playful exploring, dining, and celebrating with friends and family from all over the globe. Our upcoming trip was planned just three weeks ago and the territory is quite unknown to Sean and I. But our curious and eager minds could not be more thrilled-for on Tuesday, we travel to Ukraine.

From right-left: Brett, Jed, Beau (Brett's Brother), and Sean

Ukraine fluttered onto our radar a year ago, when in Switzerland, we met Jed, cousin of the groom Brett. Beyond the many laughs over playing Space Team and celebrating a beautiful marriage, Sean and I got to learn about Jed and his family's work in Ukraine. They run a non-profit, Wide Awake International. Their mission: Bringing Hope, Dignity, and Love, to orphans with disabilities in Ukraine (http://wideawakeinternational.org). 

Since hearing about it a year ago, Sean and I  have talked about how amazing it would to travel there sometime. I've kept up on and wept through their blog www.wideawakefamily.com. Sean and I, along with our dear friends Brett and Rachel, have been praying for the past year and a half about what God is calling us into. Three weeks ago we got a message from Jed: I'd like to have you come visit Ukraine, I've got a project I could use help on in November, what do you guys think? At first glance it seemed unrealistic, Sean had little vacation time and we are both up to our ears with work. But here's the deal, most incredible opportunities aren't characterized by practicality and comfort. We prayed, talked it over with work, and came to the unanimous conclusion that: Life is short, we have been seeking Vision, and what better way then across the world, helping out in a new place along side dear friends.

Tuesday we will work half days and rendezvous at the airport, where we will fly into Frankfurt for an 8 hour layover. There I will cash in on an invitation by my handsome Irishman for brunch and exploring in the city square. From there we fly to Kiev to then drive 3 hours west to our home for the week. It will be a whole new culture and experience. One that I am anticipating will shift our perspective. I feel like even the past three weeks of prayer and preparation have watered a yearning in my soul. I am looking forward to showing love to the kids there as we work on making their space more fun and beautiful. 

So cheers to the spontaneous, to adventures, to Vision, and to the impending consumption of potato and meat filled dumplings. 

Creativity Reawakened

Before we left on our trip, several people had said (something to the effect of) "wow, three weeks, that's a true vacation, by the end you'll be ready to be home and sleeping in your own bed".

They lied. We were not ready to come back. 

In many ways we felt more at home during our trip that we actually do on Seattle soil. Don't get me wrong, we love Seattle and our life, but there was something about this trip that felt deeper than our daily routine.  The sense of creativity, community, and adventure, were at the heart of the trip and all will have a lasting impact beyond the three weeks.

I embarked on this trip wanting to reignite my visual and written creativity that has been dormant for a couple years. Since we were packing light, bag real estate was precious. I knew that if I packed something I had to use it, otherwise I'd be mad it took up space that could have been used for a full sized hairbrush. So with that threat in mind I carefully picked out art supplies I knew I could use  and that I was also somewhat intimidated by (namely watercolors).

I've always loved the travel journals with the sketches and watercolor. However because I'm not a strong drawer, and haven't used watercolors since 2nd grade, I've lacked the confidence to even try. Not this trip. At some point in my packing in my head I said "screw it, now's my chance to try, I can always collage over it and not tell anyone". Collage has been my typical medium of choice so I included some collage essentials: 1 glue stick, washi tape, 5 pens, and a few colored pencils.  I packed two journals: one Moleskin for the collaging, and one blank book I found at a thrift store for writing and water coloring. Visuals are helpful;I made sure to take pictures of places I could sketch and I sought out my mom for inspiration in travel journaling (see her fabulous work at http://visualblessings.blogspot.com/ )

I didn't put any pressure on myself to have it look a certain way, the only goal was to use all that I packed, and to have something to look back on that I could remember our trip by. 

Here is the process I stumbled into that worked well for me:

1. Keep the odds and ends as you go (ticket stubs, magazine pages, sugar packets, etc.), have one ziplock you put it in

2. Collage and watercolor when you're in transit to your next destination. The extra bumps of the train, or airplane turbulence help you to loosen up and not get hung up on the details. It also makes the time fly by.

3. Discard of previous unused odds and ends upon arrival of next destination. This way you aren't lugging around business cards or ticket stubs that have "oh so much collage potential" but you won't actually use. Plus it takes off the pressure to create a lot of stuff. Keep the creating simple, with tokens of a few memorable places or events. 

4. Add in watercolor to liven up your collage or pen sketch 

*On the pen sketches don't worry about your lines or making it look really real, it always looks good when you view it from far away, swirly lines and seat-of-your-pant shading gets the point across

It is amazing what getting in touch with your various life passions will do to your soul. I hadn't let myself freely create without any pressure for a long time (another reason why it was so hard to come back) At home I find that my creativity gets channeled toward intense problem solving at work. However the past in the past three weeks I have found my artistic creativity to be reawakened...

Sweet Home Switzerland

The Swiss are known for many things: from the financial world to mountaineering, being more on the reserved side, chocolate, knives, and something I didn't know until recently, all out. all day wedding celebrations. The catalyst of our Switzerland adventure was the wedding of our two dear friends, Brett and Rachel (he being American, she being Swiss). We knew this would be a celebration to remember for two reasons: They are incredibly fun and loving people, and in a pre-travel/wedding prep e-mail from the wedding coordinator, the only word we could read in the High-German notation was "Wild West". 

Unlike most American weddings, the Swiss tradition is celebrating for the entire day, through the night, and into the wee hours of the a.m. The event was full of wonderful times, beautiful decorations, and fabulous food. Part way through the reception, country music was turned up, and about twenty Swiss family members sauntered down the stairs in full matching Western garb: cowboy boots, white shirts, bandanas, and of course, the classic cowboy hat. They proceeded to preform a line-dance (which i'm told was choreographed by the local mail lady, that was very well versed. I was one: very impressed by their skill, two: wondered if some of the Swiss side audience think America is predominately occupied by country cowboys, three:marveled about how two people can bring two worlds together, and four: enjoyed feeling a like I was witnessing a first-time-in-Swiss-history moment. 

Not only did we enjoy wedding festivities, but the week leading up to it was simply fantastic. After riding the train down the Rhine River to Zurich, we grabbed a car and rolled into the quaint town of Steinmaur. We were met with warm reception- another surreal moment of meeting up with dear friends across the world. There we got a nice taste of Swiss living, staying amongst the Müller family. 

Our time was laden with incredible conversations, hiking mountains, eating a heck of a lot of bread and butter, laughing, and taking the time to reflect and get inspired at what the future holds. It is clear that this trip has been more than just about adventuring, but about discovering what direction life may take. Switzerland is an amazing place. It's engulfed by scenery unmatched, people are active and healthy, and its true that their chocolate is the tops. But ultimately what I loved most about it was being with a community of people that valued beauty and relationship. I am grateful we got the chance to witness the marriage of two phenomenal people, all the while adventuring through the hills of a place that is now known. Pröschtli!

Whimsically Wandering

Walking through a quaint narrow trail of stands, surrounded by fresh produce, cheeses, jewelry hand crafted, leather bags, and fresh boisterous flowers. Then on the wind is the sound of an accordion, accompanied by a clarinet. It is a lovely tune. We sip the last of our freshly squeezed orange-raspberry juice and mount our bicycles. The bounty from the market strapped carefully to the back rack.It's off to a light lunch before exploring more of the city. 

Simply put, we love it here. 

This is a place that we booked our tickets and lodging at without any concrete reason of why, it just truly felt like we just needed to go there. We when told people this was on our travel agenda, there were often a series of remarks about its seedy reputation. The reality of Amsterdam is, there are only about five square blocks filled with tourists smoking and the gawking through the red light district. Beyond that small highly touristic area is a city full of international culture, enticing architecture, cozy cafes, and amazing people. 

We stayed at a wonderfully romantic studio flat on the top floor of an old brick apartment building. Upon or arrival we had tea with our Air B&B host, Marieke, who gave us her local favorites of things to do and places to eat. She lives two floors below the studio and was extremely helpful and a true delight to get to know. For anyone traveling here, I would highly recommend staying at the studio. However take caution when packing, its four flights of stairs up, straight up. But once at the top you are greeted with your own private balcony, a Heineken, fresh fruit, and a comfortable bed.

When you book travel based on "I just feel like we should go here", you always hope it will become clear what that elusive "feeling" was. Not too long after booking our tickets, I found out that one of my dearest friends, Hillary (whom I've known since the beginning of my time on this earth) would be moving there for work. It has worked out that her arrival day is our last full day in the city. So now, here I am, typing this in Hillary's new home in Amsterdam. The three of us just returned from a marvelous lunch overlooking the city at the Library. I love when people's worlds collide in unlikely places, this is no exception. 

It is strange that a place you've never been before, and so far from your roots, can feel like home. We had no trouble adjusting to bicycling everywhere, sipping creamy espresso and wandering down the history-laden canals. We have just enjoyed wandering together-down alleyways, beside canals, through parks-sometimes chatting, other times quietly reflecting, and many times laughing. We have come across many lovely people, each with a fascinating life journey of their own. I have no doubt that we will come back here someday.

A Car in County Cork

The thing about traveling to new destinations is that it truly allows you to live in the present. If you've never been to the place you're traveling to, then you don't know what to expect and all you know is what is right before you in the very moment. It is quite refreshing. 

The Rebel County:County Cork. From Dublin we hit the rails to Cork, our only expectations being: a local true Irish pub experience (not some hoaxy touristy spot which are abundant in Dublin), a graveyard of epic proportion, and castle galavanting.

My handsome Sean O'Brien reached back to his Irish roots and took the wheel of our rental car. From Cork the four of us headed to our next Air B&B destination in Blarney, home of the Blarney Castle. A truly magical place. It also showed how restrictive our sites in the US are. What would have been a mere roped off photo op in the US is, in Europe, a site to potentially break your neck but also to explore the true spirit of a place. We then took a couple days to drive the Southern Coast.
 For this reason alone, I highly recommend renting a car when traveling to Ireland. Despite driving on the left side, with a left shifter, both Sean and my dad took to it quite well (perhaps because they're both left-handed...). We were able to stumble upon many a sight that was untouched by your run of the mill guidebooks. Not to mention driving through the countryside is exactly as you'd imagine, except  better (and slightly more terrifying being on the other side of the road): rolling green hills, stone walls, sheep, and even thatched roofs.

Along the side of the road would be random castles, left in ruins, not regulated or littered with caution signs, just sitting there, awaiting a curious traveler. Certainly my dad and Sean had no problem climbing through a myriad of mysterious ruins along our journey. My mom and I opted out on a few, and instead mused about art journaling and the beauty of land. Indeed a good blend.

One of our discoveries was the Franciscan Abbey in the little town of Timoleague. The Abbey itself dated back to the 1400s but had been long since burned down and left as a tragically beautiful ruin. The surprising part is, that people are now buried amid the castle ruins, graves dating back hundreds of years and on up to current times. It was fascinating! These drives also lead you to true local Irish pubs. We stumbled upon a particular favorite in Skibereen, run by a lovely Irish family. I guarantee you've not had fish and chips of this caliper before, caught straight from the North Atlantic.

It is safe to say our time in Ireland was grand. It was marked by wonderful company (thank you rents for being such great travel buddies), castle climbing, good beer, and excellent conversation. And now off to Amsterdam, where we will see what adventures await as each moment comes.