Kind of like the Grinch.

And what happened then-well, in Whoville they say

That the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day...And the Grinch found the strength of ten Grinches--plus two. 
And now that his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
With a smile in his soul, he descended Mount Crumpet,
Cheerily blowing Who! Who! on his trumpet.
-Doctor Suess

A few days before leaving on our trip, I went for a walk with a dear friend in the pouring rain. I shared with her that since we purchased our plane tickets, just a couple weeks prior, I felt like my capacity to love was being expanded. That my heart seemed as if it was aching with growing pains. I would find myself tearing up, praying more, and preparing for what was to come of this excursion to an unknown land. She smiled and said, you're like the grinch with your heart literally growing! (Minus the grumpy, mean old green creature part).
Now, just a couple weeks later, it is safe to say my heart has indeed grown, probably even more than three sizes. 

Ukraine is a beautiful and despairing place. Where society's corruption, war and perversion collide with amazing pockets of people on fire for seeing the broken and downtrodden restored, where murals speckle the tattered facades of old Soviet-era buildings and good food abounds. Zhytomyr (the city we stayed in) is a place that oddly felt very much like home. There we were able to meet the loveliest sort of people. We worshiped with them, bridge jumped with them, served bananas and laughed with the boys at Romaniv together. It was a delight to step into to such a gracious and involved community across the world. 

    
Then there were those days at the Romaniv orphanage. A place that is so awful but inside those sweet boys capture your soul. Our original goal was to go there to build a play structure. But sadly the shipment of equipment was stuck at the boarder. Instead we got to spend our days with these amazing individuals. The majority of our time was in the isolation hall, where 24 of the less mobil boys suffering from more severe disabilities reside. Oh the power of nurturing and and simply being with someone. What struck me was the beauty in the mutual sharing of care from each of us and each of those boys. They have so much personality and so much to offer. The laughs, smiles, and snuggles-they are the best. The best medicine is taking time to be simply be present with each other and love with abandon. 

The place itself, is wrought with inequality. And like the entire compound, the dirty white walls that line the rooms where these boys live are longing to see revival. The ultimate goal is to find these boys permanent homes where they can thrive and be loved by a family. In the mean time, I invision bright and colorful spreads of art across those weary walls. Art has the ability to transcend language, differences, and pain. I believed it before and now it is more clear than ever. When music was played in the isolation hall, the very ambiance of the space shifted into joy. The boys loved the colorful jackets and scarves-imagine if they had beautiful paintings strewn across the hall, inviting them to a place of whimsical imagination. 

Now we are home and I find myself quite sad,burdened at times, and unable to stop a smiling at others. This trip has changed sometime deep within both Sean and I. We have gained a new lens to view life. What truly matters is relationship, is taking the time to sit and be with others, to invest your time in loving others instead of chasing things. Jean Vanier put it best, "We are not called by God to do extraordinary things, but to do ordinary things with extraordinary love." I can't wait to return to Ukraine, hopefully equipped with a paintbrush (several) and pages of mural ideas...

Unicorns of Ukraine

Ukraine-the bread basket of Europe. It is a beautiful place filled with cracked streets, crumbling grey buildings, and incredible people. Generosity and hospitality abound despite what may seem like a chilly exterior. Not to mention the food, oh the food! It is like getting a hug from the inside at every meal. We are very fortunate to have a wonderful friend of Jed and Kim's cooking us meals. We are staying at The House of Bread, a Messianic church that is a great landing spot. Our morning routine consists of waking and then walking to McDonald's for coffee before breakfast at the church. I couldn't believe I left my French Press and Street Bean Coffee on my counter at home, but the morning walk does the soul good. And hot coffee against the frigid sunny air is treat. We then eat a hearty delicious spread of cheeses, breads, eggs, oatmeal, fresh jam, and cakes. After that we run a few errands before embarking on the hour drive to the Romaniv orphanage that is home to around 85 boys with disabilities.

Describing this place is like attempting to tell someone what a unicorn is when they've never seen a horse. It is so far outside the paradigm of normal life in America.  It is a place of great injustice that simultaneously brings evidence of God through each of those sweet souls. 

Music is truly an invitation of joy and peace. Both Jed and Brett play the guitar and it beckons the boys to song and rhythm. There is also a Ukrainian volunteer who plays worship songs on the accordion. At one point him and I were singing In Christ Alone- him in Ukrainian, me in English, the flow of the accordion filling the small kitchen room accompanied by the hums and offbeat claps of 8 precious boys. 

This place provokes you to mull over the realities of the world we live in. How beauty and disability are perceived, how amid neglect and darkness, light can shine through.  I wish I could share more but my soul continues to process and I hold the stories of these children with care. I'll let the pictures do a better job of describing these past few days.

I can tell you that my heart has never been more broken and has never been so full as it as been these past few days at Romaniv. 

Brunch in Frankfurt?

One of my favorite things about the new year is a new paper calendar. I buy one at the book store then take myself on a date, just me and my calendar. I then carefully go through each week of the year and mark down birthdays, events and the multitude of plans I've already crafted. It brings me enormous satisfaction. It's not surprising, I was that child who always looked ahead in the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books so I could plan which route in the story to take. 

In the past year I've embarked on a personal quest to ease the pressure of pre-filling out the calendar. I want to shed the layer of being that person who is "always busy" in hopes of living more fully in the moment and allowing life to create its's own adventures. And life has not disappointed. It has allowed me to venture on a moments notice and also find greater rest. When you hold your schedule loosely, it leaves room for a greater depth of opportunity. Suddenly you're not confined to your own imagination. You become open to the collective creativity of those around you - and even more wonderfully frightening, where the Lord might call you to.

So another adventure is about to unfold, one that is laced with both spontaneity and great purpose. This one quite different than the last one I mused about. Our European expedition last fall had been over a year in the making and was three weeks of playful exploring, dining, and celebrating with friends and family from all over the globe. Our upcoming trip was planned just three weeks ago and the territory is quite unknown to Sean and I. But our curious and eager minds could not be more thrilled-for on Tuesday, we travel to Ukraine.

From right-left: Brett, Jed, Beau (Brett's Brother), and Sean

Ukraine fluttered onto our radar a year ago, when in Switzerland, we met Jed, cousin of the groom Brett. Beyond the many laughs over playing Space Team and celebrating a beautiful marriage, Sean and I got to learn about Jed and his family's work in Ukraine. They run a non-profit, Wide Awake International. Their mission: Bringing Hope, Dignity, and Love, to orphans with disabilities in Ukraine (http://wideawakeinternational.org). 

Since hearing about it a year ago, Sean and I  have talked about how amazing it would to travel there sometime. I've kept up on and wept through their blog www.wideawakefamily.com. Sean and I, along with our dear friends Brett and Rachel, have been praying for the past year and a half about what God is calling us into. Three weeks ago we got a message from Jed: I'd like to have you come visit Ukraine, I've got a project I could use help on in November, what do you guys think? At first glance it seemed unrealistic, Sean had little vacation time and we are both up to our ears with work. But here's the deal, most incredible opportunities aren't characterized by practicality and comfort. We prayed, talked it over with work, and came to the unanimous conclusion that: Life is short, we have been seeking Vision, and what better way then across the world, helping out in a new place along side dear friends.

Tuesday we will work half days and rendezvous at the airport, where we will fly into Frankfurt for an 8 hour layover. There I will cash in on an invitation by my handsome Irishman for brunch and exploring in the city square. From there we fly to Kiev to then drive 3 hours west to our home for the week. It will be a whole new culture and experience. One that I am anticipating will shift our perspective. I feel like even the past three weeks of prayer and preparation have watered a yearning in my soul. I am looking forward to showing love to the kids there as we work on making their space more fun and beautiful. 

So cheers to the spontaneous, to adventures, to Vision, and to the impending consumption of potato and meat filled dumplings.